Miracles
by Cassiopeia1
Summary: *slash* Remus/Sirius Chapter Three: Sirius tells Remus how he feels and the Map is finally made along with an amusing bit on how they got their names!
1. Default Chapter

Title: Miracles: Chapter One  
Author: Cassiopeia  
Feedback: Fading_eclipse@yahoo.com  
Disclaimer: These characters and names of things don't belong to me. J.K. Rowling throught them up and she's so talanted and if you haven't read the Harry Potter books yet there is something wrong with you. So go do so. And see the movies while you're at it. These fictiosn are in no way trying to disrespectful to either WB or to Ms. Rowling and I want to thank her for writing such great works of Fiction for me to do fanfictions from.  
Warning : eventually this will be NC-17. Probably in Chapter 4 or 5. Since FF.net doesn't do that anymore they'll be R there, with a link to the unedited versions.  
SUMMERY: This will take you through the school years of James Potter, Remus Lupin, Sirius Black and Pete Pettigrew. There will be slight alterations, but mostly the facts that Ms. Rowling tossed us I tried to keep the same. It'll go up until present day, and perhaps beyond mostly hitting on the points ot Rumus's & Sirius's Romance. But something will happen towards the end that will forever change their relationship and perhaps their lives forever (Read: One Nights Mistake for a glimps)

A Secret to be Discovered

**            The corridor was packed as students filed into the Great Hall at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. This had always been Sirius's favorite time of year, even if it did mean the start of school. Even though it meant he would soon be swamped with papers to write and tests to take, he still loved this time of year. It meant seeing his friends: James Potter, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew. Of course, being with his friends meant causing much trouble for a certain house, but then, with trouble came fun, so it all evened out in the end… or at least it did in the mind of the new third year student, Sirius Black. **

**            Sirius, like the rest of the Hogwarts students, was dressed in black robes with the Hogwarts symbol on the breast pocket. His long jet-black hair was pulled back, as best he could, at the nape of his neck and he wore green tennis shoes that Remus swore could glow in the dark. He grabbed his friend, Remus Lupin, who just happened to be closest to him, and ran to the table designed for his house. "Come on you slow pokes," he yelled over the sounds of the other students in the Great Hall, "Lets get to our seats!"**

**            James Potter looked at his friend over the rim of his glasses and pushes his messy black hair away from his face. He shook his head and slid into the seat across from his two best friends. "Don't tell me they don't feed you at the Black house, Sirius," James said laughing at his companion. "You always act starved when you come back here." **

**            "_That," Sirius replied looking around for their other friend who seemed to be MIA at the moment, "is because I __am starved!" James rolled his eyes and shook his head again. _**

            "Sirius doesn't eat all day so that he can stuff himself full of food when he gets here," Remus said to James who just looked amused. Remus was dressed in the same robes, of course, and he wore plain white tennis shoes. His sandy brown hair that he was trying to get to a length he liked but at the moment was uneven and hung just shy of shoulder length, was pulled back at the nape of his neck. Remus's eyes were an interesting mix of honey and amber, with silver sparkling at the center. Sirius always found Remus's eyes interesting and at many times Remus would catch his friend staring at him. Remus always felt warmth spread through him at the look in his friend's eyes, it wasn't like any look anyone else had ever given him, but he didn't know what it was. He only knew he got a funny little flutter every time he would catch his longhaired friend staring at him.        

**"Well… yeah!" Sirius agreed. "Look at all the great stuff they serve us! Of course I don't eat, I wouldn't have room for anything else!" Sirius looked around the hall again before turning back to his friends. "You guys see where Peter got off to? He seems to be MIA." **

**            The other two boys did a sweep of the hall but neither found what they were looking for. "Maybe he went to the bathroom," Remus suggested, turning back to the table. **

**            "Yeah… I guess," Sirius answered with a shrug. "He'll miss all the great food and the sorting if he doesn't hur-" He was interrupted by a very energetic Peter sliding into a seat next to James. **

**            "This school is going to be PACKED with first years!" Peter exclaimed, bouncing some as he spoke. Peter, like the others, wore the Hogwarts robe and a pair of dark blue and white tennis shoes. He was a bit shorter than James, who was shorter than both Remus and Sirius (which made him the great Seeker he was) and he didn't do very good in his classes, but he did try. He also had a great deal of fun causing trouble along with the other three boys, which was why the four had become instant friends. Even though Peter seemed, to other students and the teachers, like he followed the others around hopelessly, he was just as much a member of the team as Remus, Sirius and James. **

**            "Good!" James said putting a hand on top of Peter's head to keep him from bouncing, "maybe we'll get some great new Griffendors and win the House Cup this year." The first years were beginning to file into the hall to be sorted and everyone turned their attention to watch. **

**            Remus leaned across the table so he could be heard while keeping his voice down, "Having a lot of new Griffendors could be a bad thing, too." He looked at Sirius and raised an eyebrow. "They might all be like Sirius, then we'd be so negative we'd never have a _prayer at winning the cup." The other two hid their laughter behind their hands and pointedly __didn't look at Sirius._**

**            "I'm sure, Remus," Sirius began, speaking in his snootiest tone and batting his eyelashes, "that I have no idea what you are referring too. Are you indicating that _I cause trouble?!" He put a hand to his chest, fingers splayed like he was having a hard time breathing, slipping into his damsel in distress act. Remus just rolled his eyes and turned to watch the sorting begin. Sirius laughed and did the same. Soon they would be eating that wonderful food that always made him love this time of year._**

**~*~**

** Sirius ran up the stairs and literally slid to a halt inside their dorm room. The other three looked up from their beds where they were doing homework and shook their heads. Sirius always had a tendency to be a little … over excited about things. "TOMORROW!" he yelled throwing his hands up and falling backwards onto his bed. "And I need it, too! These last two months have been HELL! Pure hell!" The last two words were muffled as he rolled over and pressed his face into his pillow. **

**Remus looked at his friend with a sad smile. Unfortunately, he wouldn't be able to go tomorrow. The first trip to Hogsmead and he wouldn't be able to go because of some damned curse that wasn't even his fault.  Remus hated the night. "I can't go tomorrow," he finally said quietly, not looking up from his book. **

**The three boys looked up immediately and looked over at Remus. It wasn't the first time that Remus had missed out on something fun, but this was Hogsmead! Surly whatever it was that he had to do each month could wait. Peter spoke first, "It's our first visit. Don't you need a break from school too?" When Remus didn't answer and continued to look down at his notebook Peter continued, "Maybe whatever it is you do each month could wait another day?" **

**"No," Remus said a bit more bitterly than he intended, "It can't." He looked up and smiled slightly. "I'm sorry." **

**Sirius looked at his friend, brows drawing together at the look in his friend's eyes… _Longing Sirius thought. A pang of… something welled up in his chest and for a brief moment he thought about going over to his friends bed and gathering the boy in his arms.  Of course he wouldn't, but that didn't stop him from staring at his friend whose eyes seemed to be a bit more silver than normal. They always did around the time when Remus would disappear for two days.  __Beautiful, Sirius breathed, not realizing he had said that out loud until the other three turned to stare at him. Sirius pulled his gaze away from the beautiful honey eyes and grinned. "That's okay," he said slipping back into his cheery, hyper self to cover up what he'd been thinking, "We'll bring ya something back." Sirius winked and got up from the bed, making his way to the door before turning, "I'm getting something from the kitchen, I'm starved, you guys want somethin'?" James and Peter nodded, but Remus continued to stare at his pillow, not daring to look up at Sirius. That little flutter was in his chest again and he knew if he looked up he would have to admit what the flutter meant… _**

**He was in love… with Sirius.**

**~*~**

**            Sirius paced back and forth for, according to James, two days straight while Remus was missing. "I hate this!" he yelled, flopping onto his bed and giving the hole he paced into the floor a break. "Where does he go?! Why won't he just _tell us?!"_**

**            Peter sighed. It was very hard to study with Sirius's outbursts every five minutes and he was already behind enough in Potions without his friend's help. He slammed his book closed and huffed out of the room, slamming the door as he went and being totally un-Peter-like. James sighed and turned to his friend, asking, "You okay, Sirius?" He slipped off his bed and walked over to the other boy. "It's not like he hasn't done it before. Why's now getting you so worked up?"**

**            Sirius looked at James before opening his mouth to answer then deciding against it and closing his mouth. He did that several more times before he finally huffed, "I dunno! It's just buggin me." He flopped back into his bed and covered his head with his pillow just before the door opened and a very pale Remus stepped into the room. Sirius was to the door faster than James could blink. "Are you okay?! Do you want me to get you something?! You look like shit! What happened?!" Sirius was cut off by the look in his friend's eyes and simply helped the boy to his bed. **

**            "Thanks, Sirius." Remus said softly, curling onto his side and falling asleep. Sirius sat on his friend's bed all night, not falling asleep once. He would wake Remus up on the occasion the other started thrashing about on the bed obviously having a nightmare. It tore at Sirius's heart to see him like this and not know why or how to help. He was determined to find out what Remus did on those two days and to somehow help his friend out any way he could. **

**            Remus slept most of the next day. Sirius missed his Monday classes and, not listening to anyone, stayed by Remus's side the entire time. At one point Professor McGonigall ordered him to class, then took ten points from Gryffendor house for each class he missed, when Sirius pointedly refused to go to class until Remus was better. He hadn't a clue why he stayed in Remus's bed for the eighteen hours his friend was asleep, or why he'd rather get a detention and have points taken away then leave there. All he knew was every time he left, a feeling of dread would wash over him, causing him to run back and throw the curtains aside to see that Remus was sleeping safely. James and Peter at this point had completely given up talking reason into their roommate.**

**            "I think he's completely off his rocker," James said to Peter as they made their way to lunch.**

**            "He's worried."**

**            "Yeah, well I'm worried too but I'm not getting points taken away because I've decided suddenly I'm Remus's personal bodyguard." James knew there wasn't really a reason, other than the points, for him to be angry, but he was. He didn't understand how his friend could just stop caring about everything except Remus. Sure the two seemed closer lately, but James had known Sirius for fourteen years and it worried him how he was acting. To top it all off, he hadn't had a conversation with Sirius in nearly four days. It was just frustrating!**

**            "Maybe he's in love," Peter said quietly sliding into a seat across from James. "Him helping Remus might just be a way to keep his mind off it… or something."**

**            James stopped dead and looked up at his friend. "Love?"**

** The blond-haired third year looked up at his friend and shrugged. "People do weird things when they're in love." He reached across the table and grabbed James's notebook, flipping it open. "Or when they have a crush on someone," he continued, holding the notebook up for James to see the "James 'heart' Lily" written all over the inside cover.**

**            James snatched the book back and closed it quickly glaring at the smaller boy. "Yeah, yeah, yeah!" he said huffily, "….shuddup." Peter laughed but decided not the press the issue any farther. It was obvious to anyone with eyes that James had a thing for the pretty Lily Evens, even if James was too much of a weenie to do anything about it. "You don't think-" James trailed off and shrugged when Peter looked at his questioningly. "Ah, never mind. Just a stupid thought."**

**            "You mean James Potter has a thought?!" one of the Slytherin students called as he walked past the table with James and Peter. "Quick! Put that down in writing! The great chaser has a thought." The other Slytherin's all sniggered as they walked by. "And here I thought jocks didn't know how to think."**

**            "Ah, stuff your hole!" The two boys glared at each other before the Slytherin turned and made his way to his own house table. "Git," James said under his breath turning back to Peter. **

**            The rest of the week went somewhat the same. Sirius wouldn't leave Remus's side for more than five minutes at a time and usually that was only so one of them could relieve themselves. Eventually, as Halloween approached, Sirius fell back into his usual routine of flirting and pulling pranks. James was very relieved his friend was starting to act normal again… or what was normal for Sirius. The longhaired student always got strange around Halloween. He would decorate the dorms and run around wearing silly little pins.  James never understand how this person who, most of the time wore tight jeans and form-fitting shirts, flirted with half the school, male or female, and had a reputation of being a "bad boy," could run around with a little smiling ghost on his robes… _the weirdo. _**

**            Sirius opened the door to the dorm, walked over to Remus's bed and plopped down.  "I hate divination," Sirius said, taking out his astronomy books to study for the test tomorrow. "Professor Trelawny is a quack." Remus just nodded, not even seeming to notice that Sirius was now sprawled across his bed. Of course, he did notice; in fact, he noticed everything the other boy did right down to the way he chewed his pencil when frustrated and actually paying attention in class. Remus noticed everything. He thought at one point that perhaps he should just tell Sirius the truth and get it over with, but when he tried all he could think about was being rejected. It wasn't something he thought he could live through, so instead he would admire Sirius from afar and try not to let his personality change too much when around the other boy. "I mean… really, I don't think a close friend is going to kill me. That's just so stupid it's laughable." Remus visibly paled. A close friend killing Sirius… that couldn't mean him. Trelawny was never right about anything, so this, like all the others, must just be a false prediction… he hoped. Sirius putting a hand on Remus's arm drew the boy out of his thought. "You okay, Remus? You… seem a little pale."**

**            Remus shook his head and tried his best to smile. "I'm all right." He smiled up at his friend and opened the book to the chapter they were studying. "We should start at the beginning, okay?"**

**            Sirius nodded, not really sure Remus was telling the truth about him being okay, but let the matter go. "Yep." He opened the book and flipped through until he came to the page he was looking for. "Oh, I forgot! I looked on a calendar, " Sirius started practically beaming, "Halloween falls on a full moon! How kick ass is that?!" He grinned hugely, eyes sparkling with something that usually meant he was forming a plot. "The next one isn't until 2001. This is going to be great. Do you know of all the scary stories that fall around the full moon? And it'll be Halloween!" **

**            "That's awesome!" James yelled beaming just as brightly as Sirius. "We should hold a scary story party around the common room fire. Maybe the house elves can cook us something."**

**            "Exactly what I was thinking," Sirius said bouncing off the bed. "So, I know what James and Peter are going to be, what about you?" He asked Remus, still beaming hugely at the idea of a party.**

**            Remus looked up at him sadly before turning to look back at his book. "I can't go," he said very softly, Sirius wasn't sure he heard right so he asked. "I said I can't go… on Halloween… I mean. I can't go." Remus looked up at his friends and smiled slightly. "I'm sorry." Sirius couldn't believe what he was hearing. He missed Hogsmead and now Halloween on a full moon?! That was just wrong in itself. He started to say something then thought better of it and stomped out of the dorm room, slamming the door as he went. The others just stared after him. **

**            "I'm sure he's not mad at you," Peter said quietly, "he's just… mad that you can't go." He smiled weakly at his other friend.**

**            Remus shrugged. "That's the same thing as being mad at me," he sighed and turned to his task of studying. He lay awake that night until Sirius returned… late. It was about two in the morning before Sirius snuck back into the dorm. Remus could tell when Sirius stopped by his bed, his breathing was a bit heavy like he'd just been running. **

**            "Remus," Sirius whispered after a moment of just staring at the closed curtains. "Remus, are you awake?" Sirius moved closer but didn't want to draw back the curtain in case his friend was asleep.**

**            "No, Sirius," Remus responded pulling back the curtain and sitting up, "I'm not asleep."**

**            "Good. I just… I mean…" Sirius looked down. He felt terribly guilty about yelling at his friend, but he wasn't so great at apologies. "I'm sorry for getting upset." He offered a weak smile that got bigger when he saw the other boy smile back. "We'll have to have a party some other time when you can come." Remus just nodded and Sirius turned back to his bed to sleep. Soon both boys were sleeping peacefully.**

**~*~ **

**            It was Friday. Remus was sitting by the window staring out at the sun that would soon set to reveal a full moon. In another four hours he would be in the Shrieking Shake changing into a wolf.  He knew at some point he should tell his friend the truth, he just didn't want to lose the only good things in his life. He also knew that not telling them might make him lose them. Remus sighed and turned away from the window. He supposed he should get some sleep, but he knew no matter how he tried he wouldn't be able to nap. Instead, he went down to the common room where his other friends were. "Where's Sirius?" He asked Peter, who was writing his paper for Potions. **

**            "He's at the library. Something about having to figure out if a theory is true." Peter didn't even look up from the book he was reading.  Remus, deciding not to bother him any further, flopped into a chair and stared at the fire with a sigh. **

**            Sirius was flipping through the books in the Restricted Section when James tapped him on the shoulder, causing him to jump about twelve feet in the air. "Shit! James, you scared me!" he yelled, glaring at his friend.**

**            "Sorry," he apologized, but Sirius knew he wasn't really sorry by the huge grin on his face. "I was just wondering what you were doing in the restricted section, and how you got in."**

**            "I'm doing research, and I got in cause I told one on the profs that I needed to get a book out that was in here, and he signed the paper," Sirius said, turning back to the books. "It wasn't all that hard."**

**            "Uh huh. So what are you looking for?"**

**            "Nothin… well… somethin," Sirius started, voice low, "but nothin' until I know for certain." Sirius turned to look at his friend, who he _knew _****wouldn't leave it at that. "Please, just gimmie a few days, then I'll let you know."**

**            "Yeah… Okay. I've got to go help Peter finish that paper, anyway." He turned to leave then turned back, "See you at the party." With a smile, James turned and left Sirius to his research. **

**            It was almost night time by the time Sirius finished what he was working on. He returned the books he'd been looking at and raced through the castle ****to get back to the common room before Remus left. Sirius made it up the stairs just as his friend was walking down them. "Hey Remus," he said casually and slowed his walk as he passed his friend. Remus smiled and returned the greeting before heading back down. Sirius waited a few more moments then followed behind his friend, careful that no one caught him. Tonight he was going to find out what it was that Remus had to do every month. He already thought he had the answer, but wanted to be sure before confronting Remus about it. If it was true, if what he'd found out was true about Remus, he knew he wouldn't stop being the boy's friend.**

**            Remus reached the Womping Willow at sunset with another half-hour before the moon would rise. Madam Pomphrey, the nurse at school, was waiting for him with her arms crossed. "It's a little later than usual, Remus," she said as she took the boy by the arm and led him into a secret tunnel just under the tree. Sirius watched what she did, making certain he would be able to follow. **

**            "Yeah, I'm sorry. I got caught up."**

**            "Just be careful. We can't afford you to-" And the two slipped into the tunnel and out of Sirius's eye and ear shot. The boy followed, doing exactly what he saw the nurse do moments ago and almost yelled with triumph when the tree allowed him to enter the tunnel. He made sure to follow a few feet behind and hide in the shadows when Madam Pomphrey returned back to the school. Then, once he was sure she was out of earshot, he climbed carefully out of the tunnel and into the shack. **

** Sirius wasn't sure where Remus was, so he stealthily made his way through the house until he came to the last room. Carefully, he pushed the door open and stepped inside gasping as his friend whirled to stare him. **

**            "Sirius?!" **


	2. Chapter Two

Realization  
            

"Sirius?!" 

            Sirius gasped and took a step back. He'd never, in the years of knowing Remus, seen him like this. Remus's eyes were bright silver with a red rim around the iris, and the hair on his arms looked thicker, but the thing that made Sirius step back was the other boy's voice. It was low, probably an octave lower, and husky. The tone would have made Sirius shiver if the look in Remus's eyes hadn't been one of pure terror. Sirius stood there staring, not able to look away even though he knew he should run from the room and never look back. Some part of Sirius's mind was awed at the absolute beauty radiating from his friend, while the other part was screaming at him to get away.

            Remus took a step forward, eyes wide with terror. "You have to leave, Sirius!" His voice was low, husky and he tried not to let the fear he was feeling show in his voice. "Please! You have to leave now, the moon is almost up." Remus knew he sounded desperate, but he didn't know what else to do. If Sirius was around when he changed he had no doubt the wolf would kill him. It would be so nice to have someone to comfort and hold him during his transformation, but he knew he couldn't risk it. 

            "Remus-" 

                        "Get. OUT!" Sirius's eyes widened at his friend's outburst. He took a few steps backward, still facing Remus before turning and walking out the door, closing it softly behind him. Sirius stayed on the other side of the door and just breathed. He wasn't sure if he'd be able to leave, but if he could hear Remus, he was sure Remus could hear him. After a few moments, he pushed off the door and made his way, slowly, to the tunnel that lead back to school. He was totally unaware of the Halloween party going on a few feet from him, or the fact that his friends would be mad he'd missed it. All his thoughts were centered on Remus and the truth he'd just learned about the boy. 

Remus was a werewolf. 

            Sirius opened the door to the dorm room, walked over to the bed and flopped down. He had no desire to go to the party now. Not when Remus was in the shack in pain and he couldn't do anything to help. Sirius could still hear the husky frantic whisper of Remus's voice when the boy told Sirius to leave.  How was he going to face him after this?  Sirius rolled over and eventually fell asleep. He'd think about all that had happened in the morning.

Remus was a werewolf.

~*~ 

            James and Peter sighed as they entered their Herbology class. It'd been almost a week and a half since Halloween and Remus and Sirius still weren't speaking to each other.  Actually, if they only weren't speaking, James and Peter would have been happy, but the fact was that Remus and Sirius weren't even acknowledging the other's existence. James had been asking Sirius every chance he got what was up, but the longhaired boy would just shrug and head off to the library. Peter had voiced how odd it was that Sirius was spending all his extra time in the library; he even missed a few Quidditch matches due to being in there. James didn't have a clue what was wrong with his friend and asked if Peter was getting anywhere with Remus. He, of course, wasn't. They just didn't understand how one night could break up such a great friendship. 

            James was sitting on his bed cleaning his broom for the next day's game when Sirius walked in. He was carrying several books, James noticed, on Animagi. "You okay, Sirius?" James asked, hopping off his bed and plopping down on the other boy's. 

            "Sure," Sirius replied opening one of the Really Big Books. "Just doing some homework." 

            "Homework, huh?" James raised an eyebrow. "Sirius, unless you're taking classes I don't know about, looking at books for Animagi isn't for homework." James picked up one a book that had several pieces of paper sticking out of it and flipped to one of the marked pages. 

            "Maybe it's for extra credit." 

            James laughed so hard he almost fell off the bed, "Sure, Sirius." 

            Sirius sighed, "I'll tell you about it later, okay? I just can't right no-" Sirius was cut off by Remus entering the room. He stared at the other boy, wanting to talk to him, but having no clue what to say. Remus just walked past them and sat on his own bed. James, who was still clueless, decided now would be a very good time to find Peter and left the room. "Hi," Sirius said after James left. 

            "Hi," the brunette replied staring at his closed Arithmacy book. 

            Sirius cursed silently and moved to sit on Remus's bed. "Remus… I'm sorry… I-" He didn't know what to say, but knew he had to apologize for seeing something he wasn't supposed to. 

            "No… No it's not an 'I'm sorry' thing." Remus closed the book and carefully set it aside before turning his full attention to the other boy. "Sirius… I didn't not tell you because I didn't trust you, it's not that." He looked down, shaking his head, and thought a moment before looking up and continuing, "I was scared. I knew you three were my very best friends, but…" 

            "If it had gotten out you could have been expelled… or worse," Sirius continued for him. "Yeah… I don't… I mean, I didn't tell them. James and Peter, I didn't tell them." 

            "I should." 

            "I… I dunno, maybe." 

            "I should," Remus smiled, the first time in a week and a little flutter of something went through Sirius and gathered in his chest making it a touch harder to breath. "They should know. It's… It's not like all the books say, though. It's not… I mean, I'm not evil." 

            "Maybe you should explain what it's like after we tell the others," Sirius offered, his voice a touch deeper

            Remus looked up and nodded. "Yeah. You're right…wow, I can't believe I just said that about **you**." Sirius stuck his tongue out and Remus laughed. It was nice having the closeness back. They'd both missed it. Sirius rolled off the bed and went to the common room to get Peter and James. There was no use prolonging the talk they all needed to have, and maybe with the three of them knowing, they'd be able to come up with an idea to help Remus through the two days of agony he went through every month.

 Sirius came back with James and Peter behind him both looking a bit nervous and unsure. James looked at Remus and then moved to sit on his own bed facing the boy; Peter sat next to James. Sirius crossed over and sat next to Remus, giving his friend a reassuring smile. 

            "Hey, Remmy," James greeted, voice light and cheery despite the mood in the room. 

            "Ugh!" Remus made a face. "I hate that name." None of them liked that nickname that Snape sarcastically bestowed upon the boy. It was a good way to break the ice though. The tension was so thick, before, Remus wasn't sure he'd be able to breathe, but now he was laughing along with the other three. Points for James.  "Um.." Remus began once they'd calmed down and were serious again. He looked down fidgeting with his fingers in his lap, "I…There's something about me that you need to know." He looked up at James and Peter who were still looking confused, but intrigued by what Remus had to say. "The night of the party Sirius followed me… Uh…" This was harder than he thought it would be, even with the mood lightened. Maybe he could get Sirius to tell them while he ran and hid. Remus looked over at Sirius who was looking at his lap. "Sirius," he whispered and the boy looked at him, "I um.." 

            "You want me to tell them?" Sirius asked with a whisper. His chest ached at the frightened look in Remus's eyes and all he wanted to do was reach over and cuddle the boy to him. To tell him everything would be alright.

            "Could you?"

           Sirius nodded and turned to his other, now very confused friends. "Well," He began with a sigh, "The night of the party I followed Remus and found out what he does… I didn't… I mean, it really wasn't my place to tell you two so… I didn't. I really didn't know what to do about it at all so I just kindda ignored everyone. Sorry 'bout that."

           James smiled reassuringly at his two friends. "It's okay. We'll forgive you." He nudged Peter in the side who was still looking confused but nodded his agreement when James nudged him. "So, what did you find? Is Remus all right?"

           "Well," Sirius looked at Remus and smiled before turning back to James and Peter and saying, "he's a werewolf." 

            Dead silence.

            Remus was seriously considering getting up and making a run for it. He was sure he could make it to the womping willow before the other three… or at least he hoped he could. Sirius found out by snooping, which still made Remus mad, but he'd already forgiven his friend. James and Peter, however, were the first people he'd ever told on his own, because he wanted to, not because he had to. If they rejected him, he wasn't sure what he'd do. 

            James was the first to speak. "A werewolf?" He looked over at Peter who was just sitting on the bed staring at Remus, a million emotions flowing across his face. "Oh." He really didn't know what to say. His friend was something he'd been told all his life was evil and would kill him any change it got. Remus wasn't evil and certainly never tried to kill him. He just wasn't sure what to think. 

            Just as James was about to say something else Peter found his voice, "I don't know what to say to that." His voice was apologetic, and he managed to tear his eyes away from the boy and stared down at the floor instead. "I'm sorry, Remus… I just don't know what to say to that." 

            Remus nodded. He'd figured that they wouldn't accept him right away. He just hoped that they would give him the chance to prove that he was still the same person he was before. "I understand-" 

            "No," the small blond interrupted, "I don't think you do. Cause I don't even know if I understand. So I don't think you can." He looked up at Remus. "I'm sorry… I just… I need to think." Remus nodded and watched as Peter got off the bed and left the room, emotions still flowing over his face. 

            James looked over at Remus then Peter's retreating back and back to Remus. "How long have you known?" he asked Sirius, who was sitting a bit close to Remus, almost protectively if James didn't know any better… which of course he did. Sirius looked over at James with a guilty/nervous expression and held up two fingers. "Two weeks?" Sirius nodded and James simply took in a deep breath and let it out very slowly. "Oh." 

            "I wanted to tell you before… I just…" Remus took a breath, "I was just scared." Of course he had every right to be. In this day and age werewolves were "evil". Every child, brought up in the wizarding world, was taught from day one to keep their distance and make sure to never get bitten by anything resembling a wolf around the full moon.  Werewolves only wanted blood and would do anything to get it. They were cunning and sneaky and would do anything for a kill; they didn't deserve to live. The children knew that if bitten by a wolf their lives would be over. They would become evil and only want to feast on the flesh and blood of humans. This, of course, wasn't the case, at least not when it came to Remus. It was true he craved meat, not necessarily raw, but almost. This only happened three days before the full moon. He would become increasingly hungry for a piece of rare stake or hamburger. The house elves were more than happy to give him what he needed, not knowing why he liked it that way, but he wasn't the only one so it wasn't all that strange.  Another strange thing that happened was Remus's eyes would turn purely silver, like they had when Sirius caught him at the shack. They would start at the outer edge of the iris and start changing as the full moon got closer. Sirius so far seemed to be the only one to notice this, even if he hadn't accidentally discovered Remus's secret at the time (he'd commented many times on how beautiful Remus's eyes were).  As far as wanting to eat human flesh and drink blood… no, Remus wasn't a vampire, just a werewolf. So many of the myths that were associated with his kind were just that, Myths. Unfortunately, not many people believed the truth. He was human until the full moon when he turned into a wolf, and when he was a wolf he was just that. A wolf. Just like any other wolf in the world. He wasn't any more or less dangerous and he wished that people would understand this, but he knew no matter how hard anyone tried, his world wouldn't be changing to accept him anytime soon. 

            James stared at him for a long moment before nodding. "I can understand that I guess." He took another deep breath and let it out, thinking things over in his head. "So… uh… okay. Well…" he stuttered, not really knowing where to go from there. He glanced at the door and thought perhaps talking to Peter would be a good idea at this point… or Lily even.  Of course, he couldn't tell Lily, so talking to her about it would be a little hard, but she always seemed to be his voice of reason. Maybe talking to her really would be a good idea. "I'm gunna go see if I can find Peter." He slipped off the bed and walked over to the door, pausing and turning back to the two boys sitting on the bed, "I won't tell anyone your secret, Remus. I still do want to be friends." He turned and headed off to find Peter, or talk to Lily, he really didn't know which he'd end up doing. He just knew he needed to get out of that dorm room. 

             Sirius turned to Remus and said, after a moment, "I think I want to become an Animagi." 

Remus turned his head to look at Sirius, who was now so close their noses almost touched. A small gasp escaped him before he scooted back on the bed and answered, "Why?" 

            "Well… I was thinking that if I was a wolf too, I could maybe help you." 

            Remus's chest tightened to the point of almost painful. Sirius wanted to become an Animagi for him? He wanted to be around him even when Remus was a wolf? The brunette could feel tears forming but did his best to keep them back. "You…," he swallowed and cleared his throat before continuing, "I don't think becoming a wolf would be such a great idea." 

            Sirius thought about this for a moment. "Well, I'll think of something then, but think about it. You wouldn't be alone anymore. I know I could never understand what it was you go through, and I highly doubt being an Animagi is painful. At least Professor McGonegall doesn't seem to find it painful, so I know it wouldn't compare to you but-" Sirius was cut off suddenly finding himself with an arm full of Remus. "Remus?" 

            The brunette just wrapped his arms tighter around Sirius's shoulders and buried his face in the boy's neck. No one in his entire life, including his parents, had ever wanted to help him. "Sirius," he whispered, swallowing hard around the lump in his throat. He didn't know how to tell his friend how much Sirius's offer meant to him; there weren't words enough to express it, so he settled for the usual, "thank you." 

            "Oh," Sirius said finally wrapping his arms around Remus and holding him close. "Sure… Hey Remus," his voice was low, and soothing, "could you tell me about it? What it's like for you?" The boy in his arms tensed before relaxing and shifting just enough so he was lying with his head on Sirius's shoulder, forehead tucked under Sirius's chin. He was snuggling, Sirius realized, but didn't pull away. He shifted them both so that he was lying against the headboard with Remus between his legs cuddled to his chest. 

           "I… I guess." Remus closed his eyes and told Sirius everything he went through. Told him all about the painful transformation and what it was like before and after the full moon. He told Sirius all about when it had happened and how his parents treated him afterwards. The whole time Sirius held onto the storyteller in his arms, listening to every word Remus said. At some point he started rubbing Remus's back soothingly, and before the two fell asleep, still cuddled to each other, Sirius realized how he felt. 

He was in love with Remus.


	3. Chapter Three

The Start of a Romance  
Please see part one for disclaimers and warnings.   
Rated PG-13 

**            Peter got off the Hogwarts Express and made his way with the rest of the school to the great hall for dinner. He didn't sit with the others on the train, or even talk to them before hand. It had been an interesting summer spent with his family and reading all there was on werewolves. The conclusion he came too, over the months he was away from his friends, was that it just didn't matter. It had taken him the rest of last year's school and all summer, but in the end he realized that Remus had never done one of the evil things he'd read that wolves did. In fact, Remus had been his best friend, along with the others, for the last three years.  He knew James had talked to Remus before the end of school and everything with the two of them was back to normal, but at the time he was confused and wanted the summer apart to sort out his feelings and think.  Now, he needed to talk to Remus; to explain to him how he felt. Hopefully, after he did, things would go back to the way they were; back to the way they were supposed to be. **

**            James was already at the table when Peter walked up, but Sirius and Remus weren't around. He figured they were either talking somewhere or using the bathroom so he just sat down across from James and smiled. "Hey."**

**            James looked up and smiled brightly. "Peter!" He practically bounced out of his seat and across the table to hug Peter. "We thought you'd missed the train!"**

**            Peter laughed and pushed James off him. "No. I just… I didn't know how to face Remus." He looked down at his hands for a moment. "I need to tell him that I'm okay with …with his secret."**

**            Remus chose that moment to take a seat at the table. "Thank you," he said smiling for what he was sure was the first time in months. "I was so worried I would loose you as a friend." Sirius slid into a chair next to Remus and smiled at his friends.  **

**            "I just needed to think about it." The blond looked at Remus seriously, "I needed to figure out what it meant and think about all of us. But I really … those books must be wrong." Some part of his mind knew this wasn't exactly the best place to be discussing this, but he needed to tell Remus now, before anything started. That way, when they got back to the dorm things would go back to the way they were and everything would be great again. "Can you explain to me tonight what it's like? I'd really like to know."**

**            Sirius grinned at his friend. This was good. The friendship wasn't broken up after all. Now the only thing he needed to worry about was not making some stupid comment about his feelings for Remus and everything in the universe would be right. "Yeah, we should all talk after dinner. Grab some goodies and things and stay up all night gabbing." **

**            Remus shook his head chuckling; how Sirius would still have room for goodies after the meal he was about to inhale was beyond him, but from knowing Sirius since they were 11, he knew the boy could do it. Sirius Black, the bottomless pit when it came to food that wasn't healthy. They all smiled at each other and turned their attention to the sorting hat. This was going to be a good year. He could tell already.**

**~*~      **

Remus was right. The year was going great. It was already half over and nothing major had gone wrong. In fact, if the rest of his schooling career went as good as the last four months had, Remus would be in heaven.  Turned out, that James and Peter were as enthusiastic on the idea of becoming Animagi as Sirius had been.  They all were doing everything they could to find out how it was done and to make sure it was done completely right and safe. The last thing any of them wanted was to half transform. That would sort of defeat the purpose of being an Animagi. Tonight they were going to have another discussion about it. James thought they were ready to start mixing what they needed for the spell, but Peter was still concerned, he didn't have the best track record for getting things right the first time, so they were going to go over it again. They were already swiping things from the classrooms when they could. Everything was stored rolled in James's invisibility cloak incase anyone thought to look. Tonight they were going to make another run, after hours, to the library to get some more reading material.

**"I hate sneaking out after hours," Peter whispered to the others. They were sitting in the common room by the fire, each with a separate piece of paper and their instructions for the spell. **

**Sirius looked up from a book of animals he was looking at. He still hadn't figured out what he wanted to be, but knew he wanted to be something big… like a wolf. Remus still insisted he choose something else, so he had been spending his free moments looking through books trying to figure out what animal he wanted to be. "Yeah, but if we don't go now, we have a greater risk of being caught later." **

**"Besides," James piped up, "we've practically memorized where Filch is going to be at this time of night. You shouldn't worry." **

**"Well I do," Peter said a bit more huffily than he intended. "It would just be so much easier if we had a way of know _exactly where everyone was." He glanced back down at his notes and scribbled something. "A map or something." Both Sirius and James looked over at Peter at the same time. It was obvious to any one with a brain that a plan was forming in their minds. The slow smile and glance at each other determined that they were both thinking the exact same thing. The way James and Sirius's brains were almost in sync frightened Peter at times. He looked up at his friends with a questioning stare, "what?… Why're you looking at me like that?" He glanced at Remus for help. The brunette just shook his head and continued with the book he was reading._**

** "Peter!" Sirius yelled throwing his arms around his friend and hugging the stuffing out of the poor boy. "You're a genius!"**

** "I am?" Peter's voice was deadpan as he tried to shake off his overly enthusiastic friend. **

**"Absolutely," James interrupted helping to pull Sirius off Peter. "A map is exactly what we need!"**

** "Yeah!" The black haired boy sat back on his heals and beamed. "Something that shows where everyone is at that time. Oh! And nicknames too! You know, like some cool code name that only we know we go by." **

**Remus looked up and laughed. "Sirius, you need to stop reading all those Muggle mystery novels." **

**"You're just jealous you didn't think of it first," Sirius turned and stuck his tongue out at his friend. It was great having everything back to normal. He'd missed the closeness he used to have with his three friends after Remus's secret came out. "Moony."**

** "Moony?" Remus raised an eyebrow but couldn't help laughing. Sirius was practically glowing with the idea of nicknames and a secret map.**

** "Well… figure it fits. It's better than "wolfy" don'cha think?" Sirius looked at his friend all wide-eyed and completely innocent. **

** Remus couldn't help but laugh at Sirius's expression. Sirius, was anything _but innocent, and scarily enough pulled the act off rather well… if he didn't know any better that was. "Well, given the two, I think Moony is the way to go. What about the others?" Remus knew given enough time Sirius could come up with equally silly names for their animal others._**

** "Hmm…" Sirius made a big act of thinking about it before turning to Peter. "Well… Peter decided to be a rat," he sniggered before continuing, ignoring the glare from the smaller boy, "I think "Wormtail" works."**

** Peter made a face. "Wormtail?" He looked like he was thinking it over but the disgusted expression never left his face. "Okay. That works." He looked over at James grinning, "What about James?"**

** "Antlerman!"**

** "I think not!" James punched his friend in the arm and laughed. "I'm not going to have a nickname of some silly Muggle comic book character."**

** Sirius laughed. "I don't think there's an Antlerman… but I'm sure we can check." James stuck his tongue out. "Okay, okay. Um… Prongs?"**

** James beamed. "I like that!"**

** Sirius looked at him with a completely straight face, voice deadpan, "well of course you do, James, _I thought of it." All three of the others snorted and fell into laughter along with Sirius._**

**            "You still need a name, Sirius," Remus spoke up closing the book he was taking notes on. "And an animal." He glanced over at Sirius knowing what the boys was about to ask. "No. You can't be a wolf."**

**            Sirius sighed. If he was honest with himself the reason he wanted to be a wolf was because that's what Remus was. Of course, Sirius wasn't going to be honest with himself, so the reason he was giving was wolves were cool animals, noble and loyal and very beautiful. "Yeah… Then what can I be?"**

**            Peter looked at Sirius for a moment, not understand why it was taking him so long to pick an animal. "Uh… Sirius," he waited until Sirius turned towards him, "why don't you just become a dog?" Sirius stared at him and suddenly Peter didn't feel it was such a great idea to say anything. His skin turned a bright red and he looked away with a shrug.**

**            "That's a great idea!" Sirius was beaming again. "Two great ideas in one night. You're on a roll Peter. Maybe I should get you to do my Potions homework."**

**            "I don't think so," Peter laughed.  "Nice try though." **

** Sirius shrugged and started flipping through the book again. "Here it is." He put the book down, opened the page he was looking at so they others could see. "This is what I want to be."**

** James looked at the book then Sirius, then the book again. It was a dog; a big black hairy dog. Sirius took three weeks to finally choose what the others had been telling him to be all along. A dog. "Padfoot."**

** The other three looked up at James, confusion clearly written on their faces. Remus was the first to speak, however, "Excuse me?"**

**  
  
"Sirius's name," James cleared up. "Padfoot."**

** Sirius, again, was beaming. The smile was threatening to become a permanent part of the boys face. "I like that! Great, now we all have our names. So… a map?" The four of them grabbed more paper and began to talk out idea of what they could do. Eventually, they decided on something that would only appear with the right words and wand touch. That way if a teacher or Heaven for bid, Filch, got a hold of it, it would just look like a piece of paper. They found a blueprint picture of the school in one of the thousands of books on Hogwarts and set to making the map. The finished product took them all night and most of their Saturday but when it was finished they had a clear map of Hogwarts. Of course, it wasn't just a map. What they appropriately dubbed "The Marauders Map" would show the exact location of anyone they wished to see.  Moony,  Padfoot, Prongs and Wormtail finally fell asleep around four o' clock very happy with themselves. Just a few more weeks and the long, one-year journey into becoming Animagi would begin. **

**~ * ~ **

**            Remus began seeing less and less of Sirius over the next few months. Even though the four were still working on the Animagi spell every night, during the day and weekends Sirius would disappear for one of his "dates". The rumors Remus was hearing would be like arrows piercing his heart. They hurt. The idea of Sirius sleeping with everything in the school and never denying or agreeing with it left Remus's a little suspicious that it was true. He always figured if any of them started dating or something, they would all know about it. That they all had that kind of close relationship with each other that it was okay to talk about it. James, after his first date with Lily, could barely hold in his excitement until the next morning when he told the three of them everything that had happened.  He was bouncing when he said he kissed her. Remus smiled at the memory. He hoped that when Sirius found someone special, he would be as happy to tell them as James had been. So far though, Sirius was very secretive. About who he was seeing and what they did. He knew eventually he would have to speak to Sirius about it, but for now, he would just bite his lip whenever a rumor would float his way and hope that no one noticed how sad it made him. **

**            Tonight was no exception. Sirius was going out with a 5th year girl he had met at a quititch match.  They were going to take a walk along the lake, maybe even a boat ride. Remus looked over at his friend getting ready and sighed. Life just wasn't fair sometimes. "Sirius?" Remus started. He was sitting on the foot of his bed about to head downstairs to join the others about the Animagi spell. "I um… Could we talk?"**

**            Sirius gave himself one last look in the mirror and smiled. He looked good. His best outfit actually. He was wearing black jeans that were just a touch tight and a green shirt that clung to him like a second skin. Yep, he looked good. "What was that, Remus?" Sirius finally turned towards his friend. "You said something?" **

**            Remus looked down, his window of nerve closed quickly and suddenly he found himself not being able to say what he wanted. "No… nothing." He looked up and smiled, "have fun with… whatever her name is." **

**            "Miriam. And I will." Sirius grabbed his robe and headed out the door with a quick, "thanks Remus." **

**            Remus sighed and cursed himself. He was so close to telling his other secret and he chickened out… again. So it was just another day with the three of them, instead of four of them. Remus was seriously wondering if Sirius's wanting to help was just a fluke. It didn't seem like he was too interested in it now. At least tomorrow was Saturday, maybe he'd get the nerve to talk to Sirius again then. The brunette gathered up his books and began making his way to the common room only to be stopped by Sirius right outside the door. "Sirius?" **

**            "Hm?" It was obvious Sirius wasn't really paying attention. He was leaning against the wall staring at his feet. Remus figured he probably didn't even know Remus had spoken to him.**

**            "Sirius?" He tried again, this time the boy looked up and if Remus didn't know him better he would have sworn he had blushed. "What are you doing here? Don't you have a date?"**

**            "I called it off." **

**            The brunette just stood there and stared at his friend for a moment. He was sure he'd heard Sirius say he canceled his date, and at the same time his heart did a little flip from the look in Sirius's eyes. He couldn't be sure so he asked again, "excuse me?"**

**            Sirius looked up at Remus and took a deep breath before speaking, "We need to talk, Remus." He pushed off the wall and walked into their dorm room. It seemed at first he didn't know what he wanted to do, sit on Remus's bed, his own, or just stand. Eventually Sirius picked standing against the bureau, his hands stuffed into his pockets, head down. Again, it looked like he was blushing, but Remus couldn't be sure. The brunette took a seat on Sirius's bed and waiting for the boy to start talking. "Uh… I'm not really sure…" He took a deep breath.  "She wanted sex." **

**            That was the last thing Remus was expecting to hear and why Sirius thought he would want to know was beyond him. "What?"**

**            Sirius sighed, "that's the reason I called it off. She wanted sex." He still wasn't looking at Remus. **

**            "Oh." What was he supposed to say to that? And furthermore, why was Sirius telling him? **

**            "I've never had sex before." **

**            Remus's head shot up and he stared wide-eyed at his friend. He must not have heard right, because that would mean that all those girls that went out with him lied and surly not every one of them had lied. "Sirius?"**

**            Sirius still wasn't looking up. In fact, the way he was angled, Remus couldn't see his face at all. "I didn't want to have sex with anyone cause… I'm in love with someone else."  This conversation was getting very interesting and Remus was a little worried about the outcome. Finally Sirius moved, he pushed off the bureau and went to sit beside Remus on the bed. "I thought that maybe if I dated a lot I would stop loving the person that I loved." Remus continued to stare at his friend. "I… Um…" He looked up at Remus, heat in his eyes as he watched his friends reaction. "You're the one that I love."**

**            Remus sat stunned. Sirius loved him. He loved Sirius. Why did he find something wrong with this? For some reason he could bring himself to actually believe that Sirius had said those words. He looked back at his friend, who was still sitting beside him, waiting for Remus to say something. "I..uh…" **

** Every thing he was about to say was pushed out of his head when warm, incredibly soft lips landed on his own. Remus's eyes shot open then closed on their own as Sirius pulled him closer, lips becoming even softer, and moving against his own. Remus thought for sure he was going to faint. Nothing should be as sweet as the lips that were on his own. Slowly, Sirius pulled away and looked at his friend. "I have for about a year now." **

**The look on Remus's face spoke volumes to Sirius. It was soft, and peaceful, warm and heat swirled in their depths. The look in the boy's eyes was something between heat and awe and it made Sirius's chest tighten to an almost painful level. Before Remus could consult his brain he leaned forward and pressed his lips to Sirius's again. This time Sirius shifted, wrapping one arm around Remus's waist, the other went to cup the back of his head and pull him deeper into the kiss.  Both mouths opened and new sensations washed over them as their tongues collided to taste the other. Remus moaned softly and licked Sirius's bottom lip before thrusting his tongue back into the boy's mouth for a long, slow exploration of taste and feel. When they finally broke apart Remus was breathless. He looked at Sirius for a long while before speaking, "Me too." **

**It was simple, but it was enough for Sirius. He leaned forward again, taking Remus's lips like they were his life force. They both fell back onto the bed chuckling a little at the clumsiness but didn't stop kissing. After almost two years of wanting each other, they weren't about to stop now. **

**The door opened quickly and the two boys jumped apart, clothes a bit rumpled but not enough to give them away. James was speaking to Peter as he walked through the door. "I'm sure Remus just forgot." He stepped inside and looked at the two sitting on the bed. "Didn't you have a date?" **

**Sirius looked at Remus then James and Peter, he knew the smile on his face was probably blinding. "Broke it off." **

**Peter and James just stared at each other. Sirius Black, playboy of Hogwarts breaking off a date; the world was going to crash into the sun. "He must be sick," Peter suggested, shrugging to James. "We were going to work on the spell tonight. Since you don't have a date, are you coming?" **

**Sirius smiled again. Actually, he would have liked to go work on it and have it done before the next full moon, which wasn't going to happen. His hormones had different ideas, however.   All Sirius wanted to do at that moment was get back to kissing Remus.  Which was exactly what he did once the other two left the room. As soon as the door closed he leaned over and lightly brushed his lips over Remus's neck marking a trail of barely their touches until he reached the boys mouth. Their tongues danced over each other's mouths, tasting and teasing. Their hands fumbled to roam over any skin they could find and vaguely Sirius knew they were both hard, but all he was thinking of was the addicting taste of Remus's mouth. Cool hands slipped under Sirius's shirt to roam his chest and back making the boy groan. Sirius broke the kiss and looked down at his boyfriend? His Love? What was he? Not a lover… yet. "Remus?" **

**"Yeah?" Remus's voice was breathless and husky. The normally green eyes were dark, almost completely black except for the touch of silver around his pupil. Red, swollen lips were parted letting out breath in soft short little pants. **

**Sirius was momentarily spellbound by the beautiful sight underneath him. He blinked as if trying to determine if the vision was real or just a figment of his imagination, before lowering his head for another deep soul searching kiss. When he pulled up he asked, voice breathless, "what are we?" **

**Remus stared at him a moment, not understanding what Sirius was asking, "Are we?" **

**"Boyfriends? Just… kissing? Just friends, who, er… kiss Just… just fuck-buddies?" Sirius actually blushed. **

**"You're blushing," the brunette said with a smirk, voice light with laughter. "Sirius Black is actually blushing! I wish I had a camera." **

**"Shuddup!" Sirius pouted, complete with lower lip stuck out. Remus couldn't help himself and reached up, pulling the lip into his mouth for a long suckling bite. Sirius moaned, hands clenching on Remus's hips. "Remus."**

**"Yes, love?" **

**Sirius practically melted at the simple endearment Remus gave him. Love. Yes, Sirius did love. "I want to be your boyfriend. You could never be just a…a fuck-buddie to me Sirius." **

**"That's good, me too." Remus's voice was muffled against Sirius's neck giving his love one last suckling kiss before pulling back. "We should get downstairs and help. If we want to have you three changing into animals the end of next year, we're going to have to start working harder. Especially since we're going to have the summer interrupting us. "**

**"Yeah," Sirius agreed. "Stupid spell taking a year to complete." He kissed Remus one last time before sliding off the bed pulling his boyfriend with him. The two walked downstairs together, both smiling and incredibly happy with the world.**


End file.
